An autobiography set as fiction, the story starts in 1979 when I was 12 and first realized I was gay, through the time I fell in love with a boy, the whole time in denial. The sexual assault, which began three years of being sexually used by an abusive man, The psychotic break that was precipitated by the distorted and confused foundation of gay and abuse, triggered by the falling apart of five years of plans. And the 25 year struggle to come back, culminating in another mental/emotional break at 52, wherein the truth is seen, leading to 10 months of intense therapy and the realization that I was a gay man married to a woman.