How to Turn a Good Script Into a Must-Read w/ writer-director Adze Ugah [Podcast]

You have finished your screenplay! Congratulations! It is so easy to abandon a first draft somewhere in the middle, so getting to the end truly is an accomplishment. Hit save, set it aside for a little bit, and then buckle up because the nitty gritty work is about to begin. Finishing a draft is only the beginning of the craft of screenwriting, but before you get intimidated or overwhelmed, know that structured rewrite passes are very manageable tasks. Rather than endless tinkering as you re-read your script, instead, we will focus on exactly what to look for with each pass of your script. Whether you are preparing your script for competitions, festivals, producers, or representation, these screenwriting tips will help you edit that vomit draft into a draft ready for readers.

1. Big-Picture Pass

First up, perform a big-picture pass. This is about finding your movie, not fixing your lines. Re-read your screenplay and take notes, as in consider creating an actual chart on the following:

Logline - Is it the same one you set out to fulfill or has it developed along the way?
Themes - What themes have emerged from this draft? Have others emerged? Are they explored and fulfilled in a satisfying way?
Act Structure - What are the beats of your story? What’s the pacing like?
Emotional Moments - What are your characters experiencing throughout the story; do those emotions go on a journey or is it a flat line?
Plot progression and Chronology - What actually happens and does it make sense? Are there plot points or parts of the worldbuilding that are unclear?

From there, determine what your story goal was and if you’ve achieved it. What was the central dramatic question you set out to answer…and did you? What will your audience expect from this film and were those expectations met by the end? Once you have charted these things and taken an analytical eye to what exists on the paper, you can begin the screenplay rewrite process, filling in your script structure with any glaring holes. Maybe the story revision will require adding in a few scenes that compel your protagonist forward. Maybe you will need to challenge your protagonist or create a moment where they make a mistake and dig themselves into a hole they must get themselves out of. Maybe the resolution was confusing and needs some supporting evidence or beats. Think big picture in this pass. What will the summary of your screenplay consist of? Get it on to the page. A mistake screenwriters can make here is focusing on details and spending too much time on dialogue or formatting; don’t worry about that just yet. If you see something you want to fix, go ahead and fix it. If you know a conversation needs to be adjusted, feel free to write in a placeholder (I like using four asterisks because they are easy to do a word search for). The truth is, that scene that you’re itching to deep dive into might not even exist later, so don’t worry too much about it just yet. All you have to do right now is get the structure of your script exactly where you want it. Congrats! Your first pass is complete. Set your pages aside for a little while, celebrate, and then get ready for the next pass.

2. Character Pass

Time to begin a pass for each of your main characters, beginning with your protagonist. Your characters need to drive the story, not react to it. Yes, certain events set their story in motion, but they must be actively making decisions and, perhaps more importantly, making mistakes; that result in consequences, stakes, and tension which force them to grow in order to overcome their obstacles and achieve their goals. I really do like to create a chart for this so I can visually see the journey I’m setting my protagonist on. What do they want (or think they want)? What do they actually need? What are they feeling in each scene and each act? How are they changing? What mistakes do they make? How do they fix them? I like to cast actors in my mind and consider them as I do my character passes; what would make Meryl Streep want to play this part? What is interesting or challenging, but most of all relatable, about this character? Is their journey a satisfying one? After the protagonist, move on to your antagonist. What makes them compelling? Beware of the evil-for-the-sake-of-being-evil villain; there really is no dilemma about beating them, the audience gets impatient for you to kill them off and be done with it. A worthy opponent, however…or better yet, someone whose motivations you agree with…now that makes for a conundrum for your protagonist. Think of Magneto versus Professor X; both men wanted mutants to live freely, but they had different ideas of how to achieve that, making their foibles to one another captivating. Move on to your supporting characters. Give each one their own pass. Do they have an arc? Do they need one? How can it complement the protagonist’s journey? Or complicate it? Look for consistency of behavior, compelling motivations, and satisfying endings. Note here that I am not saying “happy” endings; you can tell a tragic story, but you must know why you are telling it and ensure that it is satisfying or cathartic for your audience. When you get down to the supporting characters, ask yourself if each one serves a significant purpose. This might be a time when you realize you can clean up your story by combining two characters into one or cut someone altogether.

3. Scene Pass

Next up, do a scene pass to ensure that every scene earns its place. Again, creating a chart or outline of your screenplay is very helpful here. In it, identify what the objective and conflict are for each scene. Eva Victor’s Sorry, Baby shooting script has generously been provided, allowing us to see a few scenes that were written and ultimately cut from the final film because they interrupted emotional moments or deflated a character introduction. Once you have that birds-eye-view of your screenplay outline, really look at the cause-and-effect between scenes. Are any redundant or static? Do any detract from the protagonist’s emotional journey or growth? Then go in deeper and check each scene to ensure that you are entering late and exiting early. Trim the fat. Kill those darlings. Forget about what you enjoyed writing the scene itself and ask yourself if it serves your story and your characters’ journeys. As you work on your scene revision, here’s a checklist you can ask yourself for each scene:

What do the characters want in this scene?
What is preventing them from getting what they want?
What are they deciding to do about it?
Does this scene in this moment serve the emotional impact of the story?
Did I start the scene as late as possible and exit as early as possible?
Does the pacing of the scene match the events unfolding?

When editing a screenplay, allow yourself to be as analytical as possible. Answering these questions for every scene will help give you clues about whether there is something that you can cut, alter, or add.

4. Dialogue Pass

Time for a dialogue pass. I recommend doing one of these for each character with a break between each pass, whether that’s a few hours or a day is up to you. There are three main things to be looking for:

Is the dialogue lean? That is, have you chosen exactly what you need for the tone and plot of your story? Notice how characters on telephone calls rarely say the “Hello? Hi, how are you? Goodbye!” parts of conversations? Unless you are deliberately doing a naturalistic film with specifically realistic dialogue that includes stuttering, ums, stream of consciousness, etc…keep it svelte.
Is it character specific? On your first pass, each character might sound like…well…you, but each character needs to sound like themselves. Are they well-spoken? Do they use slang? Do they drop their endings? “How ya doin’?” is different from “How are you doing?” This is the biggest reason why I recommend a pass per character, so you can make decisions about how that person and only that person will sound.

Is it playable? Read your script out loud! Say the words! Even if you’re not an actor, words on the page can work but then as soon as they’re spoken they can be clunky or dishonest or cringey. My final step in revising my screenplays is to literally host a table read with professional actors so I can hear the words out loud. There are a lot of things that will start to appear in this moment (for example, saying a character’s name too often or having a character who only asks questions). As you hone in on one character at a time, keep an eye out for how characters convey subtext versus on-the-nose information. Drop cliches or on-the-nose dialogue. Beware of over-used phrases. Avoid fillers and repetition. You don’t need to have your character say, “Hey brother!” to establish that they’re siblings. You can drop in a more subtle “Mom gave it to me” line. Siblings don’t really call each other “brother” or “sister” these days and non siblings would say “My mom gave it to me.” That kind of subtext keeps your audience in the scene rather than jolting them out of it. Noticing too many question marks? It probably means you’ve got one character who is existing only to serve up exposition or advancement to another character. “What do we do now?” “Where are we going?” “Why is this happening?” If one person is saying all of that in one scene and traditionally it’s a woman saying it to a man, then your question asker is reacting, is powerless, is ultimately not useful or engaging. It’s okay for them to be in the dark or afraid but try to find creative ways to have them express that. Make a decision for them, even if it’s the wrong one. Instead of “what do we do now?” have them decide to take a hammer to the door lock…resulting in a spark that could cause an explosion and put them in even more danger! See how it builds the tension rather than just setting the stage for exposition or talking about a plan? Make each of your characters decisively different from the others and propel them forward, while you’ve got one protagonist in your story, every single character is certain that they’re the hero.

5. Polish Pass

Finally, it’s time for a polishing pass to make your script submission-ready. You’ve done all the story, character, and dialogue work; now it’s time to check for typos.

Is your formatting consistent? Have you removed your orphans? Do you punctuate or capitalize your parentheticals consistently? Do you ALL CAPS or underline loud sounds consistently?
Are your action lines clear and brief? Can you trim any that are over three lines? Did you write out every punch and kick in a fight scene when you only needed to state that there was a fight scene? Be decisive here.
Truly, check for typos, grammar, and punctuation. Say your sentences out loud to check for readability and run-ons. An occasional typo is forgiveable; too many (especially up front) and some readers will stop reading. (And honestly, fresh eyes are very helpful here…ask your most detail oriented friend for help with this one before submitting).
Does your tone remain consistent? Are your action lines all in present tense?

2Conclusion

All of the passes listed in this article are steps you should consider taking in order to get to your “first draft” - in quotes because each pass will result in a new saved draft…but for all intents and purposes will get you to the first draft you should then give to outside readers. If you’ve done each of these passes, you’re ready to give to a friend for feedback. If you address their notes, then you’ll have another draft. Maybe then you do a table read and address the notes that come up there. If you’re still building your network of readers, consider a screenplay coverage service. If you have reps, maybe it’s time to then give the draft to them for notes, which you’ll address in another pass. Once you’ve received external feedback from a trusted source and you’ve addressed their notes…it’s time to stop revising. Unless the external feedback was consistently along the lines of “I don’t get this at all and I hate it and I hate you” then you’ve probably got a clean draft of the story you’re trying to tell. Time to submit it out into the world and see how others respond to it. Your reps might take it to the market or you might submit to a competition or fellowship or begin to query. No matter what you choose to do, take time to congratulate yourself and acknowledge your accomplishment. You thought of a story, you wrote it down, and then you had the discipline and the craft to revise it to the best version of it you could make. That, my friend, is what screenwriters do. Enjoy the feeling and then get on to the next one.

How to Turn a Good Script Into a Must-Read w/ writer-director Adze Ugah [Podcast]

1. Big-Picture Pass

2. Character Pass

3. Scene Pass

4. Dialogue Pass

5. Polish Pass

2Conclusion

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